How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

[ellesk]

I've been lurking on Specktra for quite some time now, without ever actually posting - and isn't it odd that this is the thread that draws me out of lurkerdom?
Perhaps it's not my place to say anything, but I feel as though I've witnessed enough of this forum to be able to make an informed reply. That, and something about this thread just really bothers me...
The OP has made a lot of contradictory statements... and even the final "clarification" only reiterated what was already (somewhat rudely) stated. From what I have gathered, it seems to me that the complaint is, essentially, that you have not gotten a satisfactory amount of compliments on what you percieve to be your above-average looks. Yet, what you don't want people commenting on are things they think could be improved upon, because that is not your "look" - even though you yourself have said that you critique other people's looks (which I have noticed) and, when they choose to ignore your critique, you choose to stop commenting. (Perhaps something similar is occuring here?)
Yes, I understand the fact that we are only human... that we all enjoy hearing praise about our makeup skills and compliments about the way we look. But it's ludicrous to come on here expecting that every single person will comment on your looks only to tell you how divine you are. And then, to come up with inane reasons as to why your looks aren't as popular as others (ie. the eyebrows & eyeliner issue) just seems downright petty. The more "popular" posters (and I put that in quotes because, honestly!, this is only an internet forum) have probably become popular because people admire their makeup artistry... not because they wear black eyeliner. And the only reason people are making these same suggestions is because these things do improve one's appearance. Defined eyebrows frame the face and black eyeliner gives the appearance of a thicker lashline and fuller eyelashes, which are all natural enhancements. What's more, black eyeliner can be worn in so many different ways - you can make it as thin or as thick as you like.
I always thought your choices of color were lovely, and being a Renaissance Festival fanatic myself, I thought your fantasy looks were quite cool as well. But, whatever your intentions may have been, this post certainly soured my perception... because it ultimately came across as incredibly condescending.

 

[Hikaru-chan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Faun Sphinx, you're gorgeous, you always have been, and you are a master with a brush and a little shimmer. You don't need anyone else to tell you that. I myself am the person she spoke of where I have spent a while asking and asking for comments and critiques and got nothing. Nothing at all. Not until my later posts after I BEGGED for help did people start sharing their ideas. It bothered and frustrated me to great ends that no one could take the time to tell me what I could be doing wrong, or share their insite as to what they would have done differently. Thanks to those few who DID begin to post on my last few attempts, I've gotten better. Let me tell you, it took a bit of work to get anyone to say anything about it. Frankly, page one and half of page two were nice. People were mature, positive and just plain said "Don't let it bother you". But when people started tossing around "Bitch" "dumb" and "Bullshit"... it's becomes offensive. None of you here know Sphinx like I do, and dispite her saying she meant no ill intent on how she came across, she's still accused of being sarcastic. Let me tell you this, and listen up good. This woman has a heart of pure damn gold. Sarcasm has no place in her life, she simply says what she feels. Now some in this post can't help themselves to say that she's full of it? Think hard for a moment. You use these words, and tell HER that she's not comming across the right way? She's already spelled it out quite well. Take the words for what they are, and without the sarcasm you add to it. Theres one important lesson I learned from the internet. The tone you read with is YOUR OWN. If you see sarcasm, it's more than likely your own. SO Stop and think before you decide to blow up on someone who deffinately dosn't deserve trash talk. Now, it has become overly evident that YEP there are people here that are in a clique. Fine, so be it, don't care. Not worth the time or energy to fret about. As for posting fotd JUST for critiques? Not always, there is at LEAST ONE woman I can think of off the top of my head who posts just to show what she can do. She's not looking for "how could I make this better?" she's simply posting to show off. That in and of itself is all fine and well with me. In fact I commented on how fantasic her skill is. A lot of people did. Now, Sphinx has shown NO AGRESSION to anyone here, where as I would have been well over my limit due to specific replies given. If your next post is going to be along those lines... just do her a favor and don't. I personally stopped comming around for a while, because just about every post was about Hello Kitty, and it got old with me. I took a break becaue it was like pulling teeth to find people who were willing to help and share their ideas. Weither this is due to people not really knowing what I was looking for, or people who really didn't know what to say, or just didn't have the time.. I for one can understand where Sphinx was comming from as to lack of replies. I don't want people to lie to me and tell me I look great when I really don't. I want honesty. I want honest, down to earth ideas, points of view etc. but it seemed like people were afraid I'd bite their head off if they told me something didn't look nice, or placed well. In fact, I've seen a lot of this in other posts as well (though not recently because I havn't been here in a while) Anywho, this post isn't about me. It's about people connecting. So far.. this forum is by far one of the nicest I've been two. People here are kind (for the most part) but don't be afraid to tell people what dosn't work on them. Don't worry about sounding like an ass because of how you see something. Just dont SAY it like an ass. A smile and gentle prodding can go a long way. No need to kick the people in the teeth with it. Now.. I'm going to go and eat my starwberries, work on trying to kick the rest of this cold/flu or whatever the hell it is out of my system, so I could maybe get up the courage to do more fotd and post to see what happens. I'd prefer not to see Specktra defaced because people can't understand what tone of voice to use simply because they don't know the person or what they are actually feeling on the other end of that omputer screen, you know? Have a blessed day

The thing is if you r gonna wind people up by insulting them (and that's what she's been doing if not in a direct way) then your gonna get replies like mine.

Specktra as been going for years and not once have I seen anyone moan about the amount of replies they get in a post.

Bottom line is your friend DID ask for CC in many of her past FOTD and she's now saying she hasn't.
Saying she doesn't "subscribe" to that "look" is insulting to everyone who has thin brows and winged liner.
Drugstore vs high end is a redundant argument because if you like the look it has nothing to do with what brand items the OP is using.

To me and it's just me BTW, but both of you are comming across as if you tought this was a place for you to be told how beautifull you look, if people haven't given you CC has it ever crossed your mind that they think your make up is fine the way it is.
Thing is CC's were given to you friend and she classed them has us trying to turn her into ONE OF US, then went on to sarcasticly say thin brows and winged liner are not her "look" and doing that make you a clone and part of some special elite group on here.

I don't think my post was being offensive as I didn't actually call you friend any names did I?

Thing is anyone who desn't agree with you is automatically immature when actually you both behaving in a less then mature way by whining about post counts a comments and the fact your not as popular here as more established members.

Somehow I fell this post will have to be closed as there's no reasoning with either one of you.
We have all been fair to you but I feel your just getting a little bit offended over nothing.

And by the way the only one comming across as agressive is you not me.

Edit: I guess she's more popular than she thinks, 62 post's long but all for the wrong reasons.

 

[MACATTAK]

The thing that is ironic to me is a lot of your looks have to do with experimenting with different types of masks and such. Makeup should be about experimenting and trying new things that work, or don't work for you. However, if someone brings up eyeliner or filling in your brows, then it's like they have totally crossed the line.

 

[mdjmsj]

I like all of your looks, very pretty, the last one is my favorite though, absolutely stunning!

 

[ktinagapay]

this post has both made me realize a couple of things, alot of GREAT things were brought up..like this is a place of education and inspiration. i mean thats what i have gotten from it. it ISNT a place made to boost anyonce confidence, i mean it may...but thats not the purpose of this site! its a place for learning about makeup and teaching it too. i mean specktra is just like the real world...no one will have the same exact comments, thankyous, or whatever....so we shouldnt worry about all that. its just great to have a place where we can get our ideas out there....kind of like a diary.
its supposed to be a FUN place to learn, to teach, to inspire, and to be inspired.
it shouldnt bring you negative energy just cuz the lack of comments! =D

 

[shootout]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellesk I've been lurking on Specktra for quite some time now, without ever actually posting - and isn't it odd that this is the thread that draws me out of lurkerdom? Perhaps it's not my place to say anything, but I feel as though I've witnessed enough of this forum to be able to make an informed reply. That, and something about this thread just really bothers me... The OP has made a lot of contradictory statements... and even the final "clarification" only reiterated what was already (somewhat rudely) stated. From what I have gathered, it seems to me that the complaint is, essentially, that you have not gotten a satisfactory amount of compliments on what you percieve to be your above-average looks. Yet, what you don't want people commenting on are things they think could be improved upon, because that is not your "look" - even though you yourself have said that you critique other people's looks (which I have noticed) and, when they choose to ignore your critique, you choose to stop commenting. (Perhaps something similar is occuring here?) Yes, I understand the fact that we are only human... that we all enjoy hearing praise about our makeup skills and compliments about the way we look. But it's ludicrous to come on here expecting that every single person will comment on your looks only to tell you how divine you are. And then, to come up with inane reasons as to why your looks aren't as popular as others (ie. the eyebrows & eyeliner issue) just seems downright petty. The more "popular" posters (and I put that in quotes because, honestly!, this is only an internet forum) have probably become popular because people admire their makeup artistry... not because they wear black eyeliner. And the only reason people are making these same suggestions is because these things do improve one's appearance. Defined eyebrows frame the face and black eyeliner gives the appearance of a thicker lashline and fuller eyelashes, which are all natural enhancements. What's more, black eyeliner can be worn in so many different ways - you can make it as thin or as thick as you like. I always thought your choices of color were lovely, and being a Renaissance Festival fanatic myself, I thought your fantasy looks were quite cool as well. But, whatever your intentions may have been, this post certainly soured my perception... because it ultimately came across as incredibly condescending.

EXACTLY

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hikaru-chan To me and it's just me BTW, but both of you are comming across as if you tought this was a place for you to be told how beautifull you look, if people haven't given you CC has it ever crossed your mind that they think your make up is fine the way it is.

It seems that way to me too.



I think this thread needs to be closed or moved somewhere else. This no longer has any place in the FOTD section.

 

[aggrolounge]

 

[Sound Of Vision]

Your eyes are...wow. What colors you've got in there!? Nice central heterochromia!!

And surprisingly that blue eyeliner goes well with your eyes!

And really, ignore comments about eyebrows. Some people just have naturally shaped eyebrows, and they might be bushy or really thick, but that look suits them. I tried to pluck my eyebrows to be a bit thinner because my brows really are...big. heh But I'm too lazy to pluck them and they looked to artificial on my face. Be happy you don't have to draw them, fill them in, pluck every day etc.

On CC side...I think your face looks a bit 'unfinished'. Maybe a bit of darker lip color? And maybe a bit 'stronger' mascara? But nothing else really, you look fairy-like, natural beauty.

 

[MAC_Whore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilSphinx ......I still feel that there is a 'clique' feeling to this forum, as well as, one of elitism. Alot of people who post their FotD's using drug-store brands (mainly), do not get as much attention or comments as those using (mostly) HE brands. ....

This concept stikes me as so juevenille. I can't believe anyone on here would even consider it. We aren't 7.

 

[pebbleinthesand]

I love the colour of your eyes- the last pic really makes them stand out!

 

[rbella]

Make. It. Stop.

 

[TISH1124]

^^^^

I can't thank you...But I can lmao

 

[SparklingWaves]

I like your brows. It's really up to you what you want them to look like. You are very fortunate to have such wonderful brows.

When you post a picture, you really never know what people are going to say. Some may rave. Some may see and comment about something that isn't even the picture. I have seen people being put on the defensive about something that I swear that I can't see to save my life. I will strain my eyeballs out to try to see what someone else does. Then I say, "To Hell with it."

Personally, I like to see real people and not over airbrushed and/or photoshopped images from promos or elsewhere. Even my hubby has been noticing promo ads as looking really odd lately.

Back to what you mentioned earlier, you are right. Sometimes, there are people that post and rarely give much in return to others. Yet, there will be those that do take time to respond to as many posts as they can. Then, there are those that fall somewhere in the vast spectrum. That's just how it goes and so it goes...

 

[barbie_hot]

Your eyes are so adorable

 

[DigitalRain]

Lets step back yall and take a deep breath...and a

Its just makeup, really. It aint THAT serious. We need to be worrying about the economy.....

 

[aggrolounge]

And hey, look on the bright side! This post has TONS of views and comments!

 

[Hikaru-chan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aggrolounge And hey, look on the bright side! This post has TONS of views and comments!

Yes, ironic isn't it.

 

[Meisje]

I like your eyebrows. I have a similar issue with my large forehead --- I love it, but hairstylists are always telling me I "need" bangs.

 

[user79]

Even when I was a complete n00b on here and I knew nobody, I never felt the way you do. There's lots of new members whose very first fotd post gets pages and pages of replies, probably because their look or whatever it was inspired the viewers to post a comment. I don't think there's cliques who are "out to get you" or something, or just ignore people on purpose. There's no reason to be disrespectful to people on here who post makeup looks that you don't personally care for, yet at the same time you're blocking yourself off from any kind of constructive criticism.

And that comment about high end vrs. drugstore makeup - come on, that's just grasping for straws now.

My last fotd on here (the Arabic makeup one) used all NYX and cheap ebay palettes and got many many views and replies. So that notion is just silly. I don't think people care what brand of makeup you use as long as it looks good.

Makeup is supposed to be fun and this community is to share that fun with like minded people, I do think you're taking this all a little bit too seriously.

 

[vocaltest]

I'm finding it hard to comprehend what you're saying... you say that you have noticed that the looks with 'bold black eyeliner' get the most comments/views, yet you criticised me by saying my looks were 'boring' because I use black eyeliner in every single look I do... so that means that every look you see on here is boring? I'm not taking it as a personal insult (even if it did annoy me a lot), but its more or less saying that every makeup look posted on here isn't very good. But yes you're right.. there ARE a lot of looks on here using black eyeliner, Why? Because it defines eyes, it gives fuller appearing lashes etc. No one is TELLING you to have thin brows/use black eyeliner, its CC, suggesting ways to enhance the look.

I'm not gonna sit here and pick apart your last post on here... but I just get the impression that you're upset just because no one replies to your posts and that you want replies to 'stroke your ego'. Infact, I don't get the impression, you said it yourself! Its not about stroking ego's on here, its about makeup, end of.